My two cents . . .

P

We treat happiness like it’s some elusive creature like Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, orthe Snuffleupagus (my years of watching Sesame Street betray me). . . . but the truth is, that happiness is readily findable . . . . unlike those creatures that we have never seen (contrary to the endless shows on the Discovery & History Channels) . . . . . come to think of it; why do we keep looking for them? We have all this effing technology and we still can’t find these creatures???????? Really . . . . it means one of two things; either they don’t fucking exist, or THEY DO NOT WANT TO BE FOUND!!! Get it? Every time I see one of these boneheaded adventure “scientists” spending a lot of bucks on some exploration of an area where they think a Yeti is, I want to smack them upside the head . . . . I’m mean, really . . . . . their parents must be soooo disappointed . . . . they sent you to scientist school or something thinking your going to solve the secrets of the universe by breaking the code to the “life genome” and instead . . . . . “Bigfoot Hunter” . . . . . . . I bet they cancel their cable subscription . . . . . anyway, I digress . . . .

Happiness really lies within us all . . . .believe me, I know how trite that sounds; but the simplest explanation is that what makes one person happy, doesn’t work for another – happiness cannot be homogenized, packaged and sold . . . . there is no “American Happiness” competition . . . . . and it’s not something to wait for either . . . . everyone has a plan . . . .”If I can just do this, this and this, I’ll be happy . . . .” or “If I just get THIS, I’ll be happy” . . . . . at the end of the day, happiness doesn’t give a shit about your plan . . . . . it’s always there; you just have to decide it’s something worthy of pursuing; either do it, or not . . . . (sounds easy, but it’s really not) being happy doesn’t mean you have to be “satisfied” with where your life is in total; in fact having dreams, goals etc., are really healthy, and add to one’s ability to be happy; HOWEVER; being happy is easier if you’re thankful for what you’ve got . . . .I think Sheryl Crow (of all people) said “It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got” . . . . there’s a lot of truth in that – there’s also some truth in the “you bring about what you think about” concept . . . . . you can decide to be happy, or kind, etc. . . . . . now that doesn’t necessarily rip you from the grips of depression or illness, so please don’t misconstrue an effective psychological concept as a panacea for all of your troubles; but waking each day and telling yourself that “today you are going to be happy” is a good exercise . . . it’s a start . . . . it’s a decision . . . . . changing anything in our lives first requires that we “decide” to change something . . . . . being happy is no different. So why is it so hard to do???? It seems human nature that we like to mire ourselves in some level of misery . . . . until eventually it’s all we know . . . . have you ever noticed how surprised people respond when you tell them “I’m really happy right now, things are good”? It’s always, “really? Well that’s awesome, good for you, you deserve some happiness” . . .we are so accustomed to the general unhappiness, that happiness is like a treat; like ice cream in summertime . . . .. well, I think that is whacked out backwards . . . . .as a general rule we should be happy, and let the unhappiness come in and out of our lives, not the other way around . . .. we need to choose to be happy first; see what it generates around you . . . . . think hard; what makes you most happy? Choose to embrace that every day; life isn’t a picnic; there are things that we don’t like, but you need to let yourself be happy . . . . . accept that there are some things that are difficult to change, be thankful for those things that are good, and let those positive things guide you . . . . . you will capture that elusive creature; and keep it . . . . . and be able to share it with others . . . . .

Just my two sense . . . .

Until Next time –

P

Anyway; enough of that – today’s subject is “Family” . . . . . they stay with you forever like luggage; even if you don’t want them around, they are . . . . there’s a whole governmental system in place to give families to those that don’t currently have one . . . it’s crazy!! There was a time, in my youth, or more in my youth, that I kinda tried to push my family away a bit . . .ya know . . .set yourself up; get established, independence, all that crap – and then I had a real bad spell, and who was there? My freakin’ family . . . . it’s a good thing – it’s what makes us human . . . .

What brings up this thought, is that I just got back from my family reunion for my Pop’s side – the first one EVER . . . . My Pop is one of 5 boys (4 are still with us); therefore, lots and lots of cousins and branches stemming from this family tree – it was held up North on the Jersey Shore (no . . .I don’t watch the show) – and since we are transplanted to Texas; we traveled up there; it was a bit of an ordeal – but I tell you what; it was a fabulous weekend – it was the right event, at the right time – everyone was really pleased to see everyone else; there was no family drama (that’s truly amazing) – all in all, it was a great experience – when was your last family reunion? You putting it off because of all the hassle? Check into it, it could go better than you think –

The best thing about Family is also the worst thing about family – Family is always THERE . . . .can’t get around it, can’t run from it . . . soooo . . . . you might as well run with it – one day you may really need them; and trust me, they’ll be there to help carry the load . . . . . embrace those that embrace you; you never know when you might not get the chance again –

My Two Sense –

P

What if your boss came in to you tomorrow and said “we think you’re doing a great job, so we’re not going to pay you anymore, deal with it” . . . you would lose your fucking mind . . . . and quit besides . . . . it doesn’t seem real . . . no one would ever do that . . . . well, we are doing it; most notably to songwriters and musicians . . . . Nothing is free . . . . you can’t even go to the fair and take a 45 second ride for free, so why should you possess something that you will enjoy for an indefinite period of time, for nothing? I know, I know . . . it sounds like I’m on a soap box, and your damn right, I am . . . . Musicians and artists alike are losing the basic ability to make any money at all from developing their art . . . and therefore, the quality, enjoyability and longevity of both the artists and the art are diminishing rapidly. Everyone is ready to bitch that albums only have one good song on them, but most still don’t want to pay anything for music . . . therefore, you kinda get what you pay for . . . there needs to be a happy medium, so that people can have extensive and affordable access to creative content, and the creators can be fairly compensated . . .

When you download music from free sites, it is stolen . . . you wouldn’t walk in and steal the disc from the store would you? . . . . it is truly a frightening concept . . . . and one that I fear will move the arts further, and further to the periphery of our society . . .we’re already losing art programs in schools, it would be a shame to lose art altogether as a people . . . . everyone has to eat, everyone has responsibilities to some degree . . . please, pay for your music . . . it’s that simple . . . . . or soon, there won’t be any that’s worth having . . . . .

More than my two sense . . . . .

P

You do have to make some room for the unknown . . . . Therefore, I avoid making resolutions, and set out goals and “suggestions” instead – you never know completely how you’re going to get there, because you can’t control ALL circumstance . . . . my goals in 2008 changed COMPLETELY when my wife became pregnant . . . . it was something we weren’t expecting, but, it of course was completely beautiful and life altering, and it did change the path of my goals etc.

I think it’s healthy to set out plans etc., but I am always mystified by people that add failure to their lives by setting out goals that they never could attain in the time period they’re allotting. Don’t get me wrong, you need to reach for the stars . . .it inspires your progress, fortifies your commitment, and is a hell of a lot more fun than making some lame, half assed attempt at a goal – On the flip side though, beating yourself down because you don’t reach the sky on the first shot is very counter productive. It’s OK to see where the road takes you as long as you don’t get lost . . . . sometimes, deviations from the path you planned on can bring surprises that can shape your future . . . it’s pretty damn interesting.

I like to set out two suggestions for each year . . . one that impacts others, and one just for me – like “be a better brother to my sister” & “lose 20 pounds” or something like that – those aren’t my particular two, but you get the picture . . . .

How do you look at the top of the year? As a time to make progress? New plans?

My two sense anyway –

P

On that same note, dreams don’t even need to be something that’s a practical possibility. Who the hell wants to have “practical” dreams????? The value of a dream is not its viability . . . some of the greatest of man’s achievements have been driven by an impossible dream (to quote Don Quixote). The true value of a dream, is what it does for the person that possesses it. It can drive you to be a better person; make you work harder, think outside the box; it can be a welcome, whimsical escape that eases stress . .. it can be socio economic, it can be personal, it can be relative to mankind, or just your family . . . the point is, it can be anything . . . as long as it’s something to you. There are doubters out there; but without doubt, we don’t need faith . . .and I mean faith is anything that gives you comfort; yourself, family, mankind, good fortune, your God, whatever.

The proof in the pudding of all this; is looking in the face of a child . . . . children have the grandest dreams by defacto; EVERY SINGLE ONE . . . when they tell you about it they are so full of hope, wonder, and excitement . . . . these are not bad things people . . . . . so why, when we get older, wiser, more capable even, of achieving a dream or two, do we decide to jettison them?? Foolish if you ask me . . . . . Any dream will do . . . have one . . . . cherish it . . . . try to make it come true . . . or just keep it as that one thing that is for you, and you only . . . .

What’s your dream???

My 2 Sense Anyway . . .

As a general rule, we don’t have much control over circumstance, the impacts of outside forces and people in our lives, the economy, friends, family etc . . . . what we can do to get some control, is work on shaping what “can be” . . . it will always be a work in progress; like a sculpture that keeps morphing into something different . . . but the actual act of gainfully massaging, shaping, and trying to impact what our future can be is very therapeutic, and can offer some peace into the “now” . . . . whatever you do, you have to find some way to enjoy what is going on in your life now, while not concentrating on the past, and not forsaking your future . . . . it’s a juggling act . . . but if you can find the balance . . . .a pretty good life can result . . .

My Two Sense Anyway . . .

P

Sometimes though, we make decisions that effect our mental/emotional state by putting the money as the priority . . . . that’s when it is fucking whacked . . . you somehow have to find that fine line of what makes sense for you . . . for instance, sometimes people hang in a relationship longer than they should because at the moment it’s not financially “wise” to split . . . man . . . . that is something that must be tough to take; personally, I can’t imagine doing it . . . I’m not judging, but for me, couldn’t do it . . .so at what point does cents not make sense to you? There are so many examples in this world . . .Gov’t budgets, the investment market; all are fraught with a pendulum like swing that truly neither makes sense or sometime cents. . . . Advertising especially . . . we have a car dealership in this area that says in their ads “if we can’t beat a competitor’s deal, we’ll give you the car for free” . . . how ridiculous is that . . . do people really believe that they’ll give you the car and take a total loss, instead of the lesser loss form a better deal offering??? The answer is . . . . yes . . . people also believe that banks actually offer 0% interest too . . . which is a clear point of absolute ludicrosity . . . (hmmm . . . is that a word? Dunno . . . .oh well . . . you get the point) But I digress . . . I guess the point I’m getting at, is although money is a necessary part of what makes the world go ‘round, it shouldn’t be the axis . . . at some point . . . the economy meets humanity and all bets are off . . . .

My 2 Sense anyway . .

P

Now, I am not a “real” smoker . . . but I am a real drinker, and have a true affinity for fine single malt Scotch, and kinda like cigars – Cap’n (that’s what I call him) is a real smoker (much to his daughter’s chagrin) and kinda likes Scotch – (I am not trying to open up a dialog about whether smoking or drinking are bad for you, we know that they are, but we’re all grown ups and can make our own choices . . .you do your thing I’ll do mine . . .whatever - ) So it works out pretty nicely . . . I get to sample some good smoke, he gets to sample some fine Scotch . . . .we pretty much sit out on the patio and engage in the fine lost art of conversation . . .you know, when you actually sit face to face with someone and talk about shit . . . anything really . . . music, sex, politics, love, money, cigars, relatives, why those people across the way must be doing something illegal . . . just anything really – we solve the problems of the world, hash out the family politics, talk about the future, the past, and all things in between . . . . it’s relaxing and enjoyable, truly it is –

So during one of our last “Cigar Times” it kinda came to me . . . man, everyone can use a little “Cigar Time” – you know that one time during a busy day or week when you just chill . . .think, chat with someone . . .share a drink . . . . something, dare I say, personal . . . . . not vegging out on front of the TV, or Facebooking, or playing a video game . . . while I know all of those things can be relaxing, they really don’t involve personal, human interaction . . . I actually feel that if we had more “Cigar Time” that maybe society as a whole wouldn’t be as disassociated as it is . . . . I mean, it’s not just kids, people have become completely de-sensitized . . .to everything . . . . violence, personal relationships, confrontation . . .the whole shootin’ match . . . . one of the best ways to regain our humanity would be through face to face interaction . . . pick anyone, a friend, lover, enemy, work mate, anyone . . . plan some time at least once a week to just hang out in person and talk . . . see what happens . . . .

Now I’m not saying that “Cigar Time” can cure all the ills of the world we live in, I’m just saying that getting back to basics can’t be a bad idea . . . . so why are you sitting here reading this fucking blog?????? Get outta here and go have your own “Cigar Time” . . .

My 2 Cents –

P

At this point, I can say unequivocally, with certainty, and for all other purposes definitively, that fatherhood is everything people say it is and then some. Rocco Vincent Gandolfi joined us at 8:50 pm on March 12, 2009 – so far, it clearly was the best day of my life . . . for a myriad of reasons.

Prior to becoming a father, the thought is sooooo daunting . . . . ‘Oh my God . . . how am I going to . . . . “ or “Will I have enough money” or “What if I suck at it?” . . . . but once the grand moment happens, there’s a real sense of calm in the storm that will be your life . . . . truly, the beauty is unparalleled . . . majestic even; and you suddenly realize that you will never be the same . . .but in a good way. Prior to the birth you’re thinking, “man, my life is gonna change” and some of your friends (who may lean on the bitter side of things) tell you horror stories of how the world stopped; they never went out again, or never went on vacation, and they SURELY never had sex again . . .well, you know what? All of that is up to you and your spouse or partner . . . you can make the life you share with your new family exactly what you want it to be; and nothing less . . . . . you’re still the same guy .. . just better, stronger . . .and maybe even a little more driven then you were before . . . just when everything seems like madness, you get a real sense of peace, or tranquility, or whatever sounds good to you to mean that you’ve got it under control . . . . and suddenly, you know that everything is going to be OK; it’s all gonna work out, and what’s the coolest thing, is that you have this beautiful new person that you can nurture, love and guide through all the bullshit you went through . . it’s truly an awesome ride, and one that’s open and available to everyone . . . . not a day goes by that my son doesn’t do something that just seems magical; now, I’m not an idiot, I know that time will quell the fires of amazement to some degree; but I dive in and enjoy each moment for all that it is worth RIGHT NOW . . . . if I am having an exceptionally hard day (this industry is by far, a tremendously shitty one), all I have to do, is see that smiling face, and it just gets easier . . . it’s the truth . . . and I’m thankful . . .truly I am . . . . .

Thanks Roc, for making me the man that I knew I could be . . . Daddy loves ya sport . . .

Until Next Time –